I wish perfume smelled like cologne.

You know there is always that one bitch. Just seeing her face makes you want to punch a coconut tree. 

rabioheab:

dear diary,

i finally got to 15 followers on tumblr. i’m trying really hard to not let the fame get to my head but it’s difficult. today some lady at the supermarket asked me if i wanted paper or plastic bags and i just f*****cking lost it i am too famous for her questions. i can’t believe i haven’t been asked to do a magazine cover yet. i feel like it is coming soon. 

dennielcorsi:

emkaymlp:

underpony:

Male problems:  When you wrap a towel around yourself, you don’t have breasts to keep it up

you can keep the towel up by thinking of breasts

populardad:

there is a difference between people who are smart and people who get good grades